Do you consider yourself a writer who is not “successful”? Setting aside the discussion about what makes one “successful,” the truth is that if you don’t consider yourself such, then you’re not living up to your expectations or vision of what that success looks like.
You really only have one option to become that successful writer: You must begin working toward it.
That will mean sacrifices. For example, do you binge watch Netflix every weekend? Then stop doing so and instead write and revise during that time. Do you find yourself going on binge spring cleanings? Then stop it and outline a scene or edit a draft during that time.
Do you find yourself making excuses for why you are not a successful writer? Those excuses are what need to be cut or done more efficiently.
Sure, simply dedicating more time to writing alone won’t make you successful. You also need to read books like those you want to write and need to constantly learn about the craft of writing (not to mention self-publishing and book marketing). But the less you write, the greater the odds are against you ever being successful.
I am not advocating that you shirk your responsibilities. Yes, you must take care of the children, must maintain a career for an income, must keep physically and emotionally fit. But you can do all of that and still be a successful writer. Many authors do so.
You chose who you want to be by the decisions you make. Successful writers recognize this and choose options that allow them to achieve.
So the choice is yours. I hope you decide to be successful!