Use Third-Person Objective for Neutral Narration

A popular third-person point of view in fiction is third-person objective. This occurs when a narrator outside of the story tells what is happening without giving the characters’ internal thoughts, opinions or feelings.

Consider the following passage, written in third-person objective:

The valley below them stretched deep and black. On the ridge above was only scrub and rock with a stout, teetering stone wall at the edge. The sun rising behind the ridge had just begun to warm the wall and lift the shadows from the valley. The Californian and the girl with him sat on the wall where it remained upright, where rain and wind had yet to erode the granite at the ridge’s edge. In a half-hour, light would fully wash the dark from the valley, allowing the small river running through it to be seen.

“Want a cigarette?” the girl asked. She opened her macrame satchel that sat between them.

The Californian fished a lighter from his pocket. “Sure.”

Notice how the passage utilizes an uninvolved narrator who is unnecessary to the progression of the plot. The narrator is not a character in the story and merely tells what happened. The narrator’s viewpoint is that of a camera on a wall relaying pictures of the scene.

Because of this, the narrator only states the observable actions and dialogue but not what is going on inside the characters’ minds. We have no idea what the characters are thinking as they watch the shadow rise over the valley or what they feel about one another. Their internal thoughts and emotions are only inferred or spoken aloud.

The advantage of third-person objective is that the dehumanized narrator delivers an unbiased, neutral telling of the story. This “just the facts, ma’am” approach allows readers to make their own decisions about the ethics of the characters’ behavior without the taint of the narrator’s emotions. The disadvantage is that an emotional distance exists between the reader and the story’s characters. This can prevent readers from identifying with and liking characters.

An excellent example of third-person objective in literature is Ernest Hemingway’s short story “Hills Like White Elephants.”

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My name is Rob Bignell. I’m an affordable, professional editor who runs Inventing Reality Editing Service, which meets the manuscript needs of writers both new and published. I also offer a variety of self-publishing services. During the past 15 years, I’ve helped more than 400 novelists and nonfiction authors obtain their publishing dreams at reasonable prices. I’m also the author of the Storytelling 101 writing guidebooks, four nonfiction hiking guidebook series, and the literary novel Windmill. Several of my short stories in the literary and science fiction genres also have been published.

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